On Friday, June 29, I left Niagara Falls, Ontario and headed for the U.S. border, getting stuck in a very slow-moving line at Border Control.
I pulled up to the booth of a Border Patrol Agent, a real macho guy with a snide attitude. He began by grilling me suspiciously.
“What were you doing in Canada?” he said.
“Visiting Niagara Falls.”
“Why did you have to go to Canada when you can see the Falls from New York?”
“The views are much better from the Canadian side.”
“So you’re driving up here alone?”
“Yep.”
“So you just decided to drive all the way up here from Virginia and go to Niagara Falls and cross the border into Canada by yourself?” Like there is something wrong with that.
I said, “Yeah. I travel alone a lot. I’ve traveled all over the world on my own.”
“Do you work?”
“No.”
“So what does your husband do?”
“He works for a government contractor in northern Virginia.”
He continues with his snide look. “Oh, so he just pays for you to come on up here?”
“Yes.”
“Where are your bags?”
“Bags? Oh, you mean my suitcase? In the trunk.”
He then instructed me to turn off my car, pop the trunk, roll down my back seat window, and give him my keys.
“Is there anything in your trunk I’m not going to be happy to find?”
I said, “Uh, I don’t think so.”
Then he proceeded to search through my trunk and rifle through my suitcase.
Finally, he slammed my trunk and waved me through, looking pissed off that he was unable to find that I was doing something wrong. I really wanted to wipe that snide look right off of his face.
So what was going on? I am a white woman of an advanced age traveling alone. Was there some problem with that? Apparently our current administration, supported by the Christian Evangelicals who think a woman’s place is in the home, feel threatened by an independent woman traveling alone. They had better get used to it, because I don’t plan to stop!
If I got that much of a grilling, I can only imagine what people with brown skin have to deal with every day when crossing borders or dealing with our government.
I am so sick of our current administration’s border policies. Our country has been separating children from their parents and imprisoning them. Recently, women and children seeking asylum were tear gassed. It’s an outrage. Our government has no compassion for human beings who are suffering in this world.
I’m sure we don’t know the half of what is really going on at our borders.
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Once I arrived home, I began to work on my intentions:
- I wrote posts about “things I learned” each day.
- I wrote about movement and sound.
- I did a freewrite about newspaper headlines while I was traveling.
- I took video clips of the Falls and butterflies at the Butterfly Conservatory.
- I wrote an Apostrophe poem, in which the poet addresses an abstract person, idea or thing: poetic journeys: o, teddy!
- I also intended to find thematic possibilities; I only did one post on this:
- I collected tickets and stickers to include in my journal.
- I sent a postcard home from New York (see below).
- I searched for a perfect memento. I bought a pair of earrings decorated with Rosebay Rhododendrons in the Frank Lloyd Wright Darwin Martin House Complex. I love the white flower clusters surrounded by dark green leaves, and, having lived in three Asian countries and visited many more, I love the Asian look of them. I also found a book in Talking Leaves Bookstore in Buffalo, Postcards from the End of America by Linh Dinh. The title alone hints to the demise of America, and its utter lack of moral leadership (not that we’ve always been moral, not by a longshot).
- I set an intention to take photos with my wide-angle lens, which I failed to do. I also was supposed to take black and white photos. Though I didn’t take any photos in black and white, I did edit a couple to be B&W.

Greetings from New York
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Hastily written postcard 🙂
Rosebay Rhododendron earrings and Postcards from the End of America from Talking Leaves Bookstore in Buffalo
Horseshoe Falls from the Canadian side
Overall, I was glad I finally made the trip up north to visit Niagara Falls. The Canadian side has the best views but also a huge commercial footprint and a lot of tacky shops. The American side has a more natural environment, and allows visitors to get up close and personal with the Falls as they tumble over the precipice. In the end, I left the U.S.-Canadian border with a bad taste in my mouth, and felt outraged and gloomy over what is becoming of our country. Though I was awed by the amazing Falls and the White Water Walk, and I enjoyed seeing my friend Mona Lisa, I don’t think I would ever return again.
Here’s my trip shown on the Polarsteps app. Of course, this app doesn’t show the actual roads taken.
my Polarsteps app
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“ON RETURNING HOME” INVITATION: I invite you to write a post on your own blog about returning home from one particular destination or, alternately, from a long journey encompassing many stops. How do you linger over your wanderings and create something from them? How have you changed? Did the place live up to its hype, or was it disappointing? Feel free to address any aspect of your journey and how it influences you upon your return. If you don’t have a blog, I invite you to write in the comments.
For some ideas on this, you can check out the original post about this subject: on returning home.
Include the link in the comments below by Sunday, January 6 at 1:00 p.m. EST. When I write my post in response to this challenge on Monday, January 7, I’ll include your links in that post.
This will be an ongoing invitation on the first Monday of each month. Feel free to jump in at any time. 🙂
I hope you’ll join in our community. I look forward to reading your posts!
Goodness…that would leave me with a bad vibe as well.
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Thanks. I really didn’t like his insinuation that a woman shouldn’t be allowed to travel alone!
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Your brain never stops twirling, Cathy! On to the next thing, and the next… 🙂 🙂 I can’t help but think that if you have keepsakes and postcards from everywhere you’ve ever been, if you come to move house you’ll have an even bigger problem than I did. (the back bedroom is feeling sorry for itself 🙂 ) Joking apart, I applaud what you’re doing. Have a great week!
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Mike says I have a constantly churning mind and it wears him out to keep up with me! 🙂 I will certainly have a problem with my keepsakes if I ever move, Jo. Worst though are papers and a lot of junk that we could easily get rid of if we just took the time to sit down and sift through it all!
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I’ve sifted and sifted and still got a load of junk but I love some of it. 🙂 🙂 My mind doesn’t churn as much as yours but Mick still complains about keeping up. What’s next for you?
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I don’t think you should ever get rid of things you love, Jo. It’s like the Kon Mari method: get rid of only those things that no longer bring you joy! I’ll be writing about my dreams for next year when I get them all worked out. I plan to write something about 2019 on the 19th. 🙂
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Women alone are not meant to have fun, it seems…. Aaargh….
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Yes! His attitude was so insulting and infuriating!
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That was unbelievable that pretentious bloke picking on you like that. I wonder why he chose you? You have certainly ticked all your to-do boxes Cathy. You get so much added value on your trips by setting these intentions, and we benefit also with the in-depth recording of your trips to share with us
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Who knows, Pauline? The only reason I can think of is that he is the type of macho man who feels threatened by independent women!
I have fun setting intentions, as it pushes me to think of travel in different ways. I still bore myself, but not as much as I used to!
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Intentions give more depth to the journey
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So far, I’ve usually had no problems when coming into the US, except for the fact that it sometimes takes ages just in the waiting-line. Only once I was singled out for more detailed questioning, but those questions were quite perfunctory. Why I was singled out I don’t know. Three years ago, when my wife and I returned from a trip to Germany, we were singled out not at immigration but at customs. We had to wait for quite some time, only to be told then – without any questioning or inspection – that we could go on.
Maybe you’d like to read my experience with the border patrol in West Texas [Big Bend area], when I was here on a visa still and had forgotten to take my passport with me. I hadn’t thought of it as we didn’t cross into Mexico. You find it here: https://wp.me/p1wnbs-bA
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Yes, the process does always seem slow, although I do have to admit that when I went through immigration in Newark while coming back from Portugal, it wasn’t bad at all.
Your story from 2009 is an interesting one, and I’m so glad it all worked out in the end. I can’t imagine it would be so easy to get back in these days.
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The process certainly is slow, very slow more often than not, but so far I’ve never encountered impolite officers at immigration. Sometimes sleepy after a long shift, and quite frequently chatting a few friendly words in German with me. It’ll be interesting to see how things work out when I return from Germany next January.
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You’re lucky. I’ve encountered really rude ones twice, but I guess as much as I travel, that isn’t too bad.
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Let’s see how things turn out for me when I come back from Germany on January 29.
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I’m sure you’ll be fine. 🙂
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I sure hope so!
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Don’t let the border guards get you down. I’ve always felt they ARE a breed of men that want to work in an environment in which they can boss people around – rather like prison guards. I mean, who would want to? I well remember when visiting Puerto Rico on a cargo ship once, being warned by the ship’s captain that on no account should we make a joke with the US Customs Official who came on board to check passports before we were allowed on shore. He was gross in size, smoked an enormous cigar the smoke from which he blew all over us, and was quite rude in the questions he asked. Apart from Why are you visiting the USA (Puerto Rico, first stop), I had ‘why did you leave your birthplace to live in another country’? I refused to answer and he said he could stop me from going off the ship and I said I didn’t care, that P.R. had lost its appeal for me as had the US of A. He did allow me leave to enter but frankly, I couldn’t care less by then. He was only nominally worse than those at LAX! BUT, and it’s a big but, I felt easy about standing my ground with him as I knew he could only stop me from getting off the ship, he would not throw me into a foul, dank prison, or have me dragged off for interrogation elsewhere! Being cheeky in the West is a lot easier than having a strop in the Middle East of some parts of Asia.
Oh! Great post by the way and lovely images!
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I agree, Mari, that it is a certain kind of macho man who would even take a job in border control, or prison guarding, as you say. What a story about the Customs agent on your cargo ship going into Puerto Rico. Those kinds of men are really horrible, aren’t they? I don’t know why they should be able to ask such questions as they did to you.
Thanks so much for your kind comments. 🙂
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Living in a border state (AZ), it is interesting to hear the opinions on both sides. Unfortunately, immigration isn’t as easy as we may want it to be. Like anything else in this world, everything resolves around money. I’m first American born in my family. It took my parents seven years for approval to come to the U.S. with the intent to stay for 2 years. At that time, they needed a sponsor who was responsible for helping then with housing, job search, and learning English (and if my dad broke the law, the sponsor was also in trouble). At my son’s wedding, 3 out of 4 groomsman were minorities with at least one or both parents immigrating legally. When we’ve spent time in TX, most of the shrimp/oyster boat workers were Hispanic. I was shocked with how many “Trump” political stickers were on their trucks. From my general observation (and I could be wrong), a large number of those that have immigrated legally, support the current administrations stance.
One liberal woman here in the RV Park, recommended that folks need to volunteer to agree to take responsibility for migrant families … personally opening their homes and wallets and helping them. Perhaps then tax payers wouldn’t feel a negative burden – a real concern in AZ. Interesting thought and similar to what my parents experienced. I seem to have very mixed emotions on the subject.
With all that said, glad you enjoyed your visit to Niagara Falls, a place I have yet to visit!
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Interesting perspective, Ingrid. Yes, I do understand the perspectives of those who came here legally and went through the proper channels, and their insistence that other immigrants do the same. However, it’s the racial rhetoric and open hatred for immigrants in generalized terms that I can’t stand.
I daresay most Americans don’t want to do the jobs that most immigrants do so readily, as even menial labor is better than what they can get in their own countries. So the jobs immigrants take are most likely not the jobs they’d be interested in doing. And as for those seeking asylum from unbearable conditions and violence in their own countries, well, need I remind people that our Statue of Liberty stands for welcoming those who are persecuted, and that our entire country is made of of immigrants, unless we are Native Americans!
As for my personal experience at the border, I had a passport and I am an older woman with lifetime American citizenship, and I hated the insinuation by the macho agent that a woman shouldn’t be traveling alone, and because I was, I was under suspicion. And I also can’t stand the separation of children from parents and the tear gassing of women and children. It’s just going too far. And don’t even get me started about the wall.
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Horrible. John has never had a problem getting into the US for conferences, but if he’s travelling with a student or post-doc who is not white, that person is often pulled aside. Happens here too, mind you, our government likes to create a “hostile environment” (T May actually used that phrase). Several cultural events have had to cancel speakers or acts because they couldn’t get a visa to visit. Oh no, you’ve got me ranting now!
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Yes, I could go on and on ranting about this subject, especially with the racist sentiments that are so bandied about by white people these days. I wish it didn’t have to be such a hostile environment, as I believe the world is becoming a more mobile place and people will be on the move as time goes on.
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Never heard of Rosebay Rhododendron so I had to look it up. I see it is an Eastern US native. I can’t say that I have ever enjoyed entering the USA, but have only ever had one odd experience and that was whilst still in the UK! Got checked by security again, before the gate, and by US staff at that. Most odd.
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I always wonder what they have in mind when they pull people out. What makes a person suspicious besides the color of one’s skin and the clothing one wears?
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How rude! My guess is he is like that to everyone because it passes the day when he’s doing a job he doesn’t enjoy.
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Maybe. Or maybe he enjoys having a position of authority where he can lord it over people.
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Outrage is becoming a default mode, and sometimes it’s hard to see beyond it. We too behave appallingly – we’ve destroyed the lives of many refugees, including children by leaving them offshore in detention when they need urgent medical and psychiatric attention. However there are also “shocks like joy” – I have a very large python who can’t move from my deck because he’s overeaten. He’s quite beautiful in both markings and motion. I love your returning home posts especially – they are always so thoughtful.
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I just wonder where compassion has gone in our world, Meg. I know it is there, among many people, but we don’t see it enough in the media.
As for your python, I’d be freaking out, but I’m glad you can see the beauty in it and appreciate it. Is he still there?
And thank you for your kind words. 🙂
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How very , I’ve yet to visit the US, but have often wondered how I’d get on there. I suppose most people still have a good experience.
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I think overall, it can be a good experience, as long as you don’t interact with certain kinds of people!
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Stunning captures of this Niagara falls!
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Thanks Amy. I have much better photos in earlier posts. 🙂
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Your encounter with the border guard is interesting. I had a similar thing the last time I landed in Heathrow. The guy behind the bullet proof glass got really interested in my passport. So much so I asked him why. He said “You’ve been here a lot. I just want to make to sure you aren’t intending to stay here.” !!!!! I was flabbergast for I had landed at Heathrow precisely twice before. All I could think of to say was “My daughter lives in Ireland. I am going to see her. I landed here to see a bit of the UK beforehand.” I thought later what I should have said was ‘ “Stay here! It’s 6 degrees outside. I’m from Australia. Why would I want to stay here!”
Like you I am a white woman of middle years. The tension and suspicion of the guard made me feel for non-white people who come from the Middle East.
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What an encounter you had in Heathrow, Suzanne. I love the response you wish you had given! Sometimes you wonder why on earth people would think you’re in their country to stay forever! I hate being under suspicion for any reason, especially when I know I am perfectly innocent of whatever they suspect me of!
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Yes, it’s creepy. I have always felt cross about the way innocent people are so often treated with suspicion while the real threats and criminals often know how to play the game and sail under the radar.
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