In the British movie, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, Judi Dench plays Evelyn Greenslade, a newly widowed housewife whose house must be sold to pay off her husband’s debts. She goes to India with a group of elderly British characters, whose motives for coming to India are as varied as their eccentric personalities. They choose to spend their retirement years at Sonny’s Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, a home for the “elderly and beautiful,” based on pictures on the hotel’s website. Upon arrival, they find the hotel to be dilapidated and mismanaged. Some of the characters embrace the experience, while others seem determined to be miserable.
While staying at the hotel, Evelyn keeps a blog of her activities. She narrates throughout, to her Day 51 moral at the end:
The only real failure is the failure to try.
The measure of success is how we cope with disappointment, as we always must.
We came here and we tried, all of us in our different ways.
Can we be blamed for feeling that we’re too old to change?
Too scared of disappointment to start it all again?
We get up in the morning. We do our best. Nothing else matters.
But it’s also true that the person who risks nothing does nothing. Has nothing.
All we know about the future is that it will be different. Perhaps what we fear is that it will be the same, so we must celebrate the changes.Because as someone once said, “Everything will be all right in the end, and if it’s not all right, then trust me, it’s not yet the end.”
I understand Evelyn’s sentiments. Sometimes we feel we’re too old to change. I believed that was the case in my early 50s. I thought nothing would ever change in my humdrum existence. However, at age 54, I went to work abroad in South Korea for the first time ever in my life. From the ages of 55 to 57, I lived and worked in the Sultanate of Oman. I would never have imagined doing such a thing when I was in my thirties and forties, married, raising a family, and doing all the things that were expected of me.
I could have been too scared of disappointment to start it all again. But the life I was living at the time was already a disappointment. What did I have to lose, after all?
I couldn’t say about myself that my only real failure was a failure to try. For I did try. I tried, and for better or worse, my life changed.
While in Korea, the only thing I could think about was my desire to work in the Middle East. It’s a long story, but after September 11, 2001, I became intrigued, almost obsessed, by Islam and the Arab world. I wanted to understand this culture and I read every book I could get my hands on. Since Korea was my first time teaching ESL, I looked at it as putting in my time, adding to my resume, so I could go to the Middle East.
I completed my Master’s degree in International Commerce and Policy in May of 2008. Most of my research was centered in analysis of economic and political issues in the broader Middle East, Afghanistan and Pakistan. One paper was titled Social Ramifications of U.S. Foreign Policy in Egypt. This was a collaborative effort with colleagues which also dealt with the political, economic, and the political-military consequences of U.S. policy in that country. My other research projects included Macroeconomic Prospects for Jordan and Free Trade in the Middle East: A Tool to Achieve Peace and Stability. I wrote about Women’s Empowerment as a Key to Economic Development in Afghanistan. I also wrote papers focused in other areas of the world, including Mexican Judicial Reform and its Effect on the Political and Business Climate. I studied Arabic from 2005-2007 (and not again since, despite living in an Arab country for nearly two years). After going to Egypt, which I adored, for the month of July in 2007, I was determined to work in the Middle East.
I went to Oman in September, 2011, ten years after the horrible terrorist attacks on the World Trade Centers & the Pentagon. It seemed my dream to come to the Middle East had come true.

Wadi Tiwi

Nakhal Fort

Wadi Damm

Salalah with my sons

camel in Salalah

Tomb of bin Ali in Salalah
In Oman, I fell in love with the stark and rugged mountains, the Arabian Sea and the Gulf of Oman, the wadis and date palms, the forts and ruins and mosques. I fell in love with Omani hospitality and hole-in-the-wall Indian and Pakistani restaurants. I grew to love the call to prayer five times a day. I loved the souqs and their exotic lanterns and incense burners. I loved the scarves Omani women and girls wore on their heads, but I wore around my neck.

fishermen in Al-Musaanah

Sultan Qaboos Palace in Muscat

men with rifles at Nizwa souq

Balad Sayt
Like Evelyn from the Marigold Hotel, I thrived on the experience as much as possible, even though at times it was a lonely existence and a physical and emotional struggle. I figured if I was going to be happy in Oman, I would have to create happiness myself, and so I resorted to the thing I loved best in Korea, traveling with a camera in hand, and sharing my adventures on my blog. When I met my dear friend Mario, I found a like-minded friend who would do these things with me; his companionship increased my enjoyment exponentially. Again, as in Korea, my travels and explorations kept me sane, and less lonely. Besides my travels within the country, I spent my free time reading novels, watching movies, and plotting other travels through the region. While living in Oman, I ventured to Jordan, Greece, Ethiopia, and Nepal. Before I returned home, I spent a month in Spain and Portugal.

Jebel Akhdar
I tried to get the most out of my experiences while living abroad. I discovered things about myself: I love to travel, to go out into far-flung corners of a place and explore it, on my own, with a camera in hand, and a willingness to share my experience with words.
I found, disappointingly, that I could be quite intolerant of certain aspects of the culture. I couldn’t understand why people set up restrictions in their society that held them hostage, and under which they were bound to fail. I dislike hypocrisy, which I found ran rampant. I found that the energy and chaos and liveliness I discovered, and loved, in Egypt was lacking in Oman. The Sultan had done a great job of bringing Oman into the modern world, but somehow the country was missing vitality. It seemed to lack a sense of humor and, as the French say, a joie de vivre (joy of living), a cheerful enjoyment of life; an exultation of spirit. It wasn’t long before I became bored with the culture and irritated by its lack of respect for women, its acceptance of cheating and its lack of work ethic. I found Omani citizens’ sense of entitlement annoying, along with its dependence on wasta to get ahead, and its attitude that things will get done, insha’allah, whenever they get done. And then of course, there was the weather. I love four distinct seasons in Virginia, particularly the fall, winter and spring. I’ve never been a fan of summer. Of course, Oman has year-round summer, and heat like I’ve never experienced.
That being said, as in Korea, I met some wonderful Omanis, especially my students, who didn’t hesitate to show their love for me. And I cherished my wonderful friendship with Mario.
As far as work, I realized certain requirements were of utmost importance. Sadly, I didn’t find these things in Oman: I wanted to be respected as a professional; I wanted autonomy to do my job using the experience I had accumulated. I didn’t want to be treated as a robot doing someone else’s bidding, especially when I didn’t agree with it theoretically. I wanted to be commended when I did a good job and appreciated for being dependable. I wanted to be free to speak on any subject in the classroom or any other job environment. I wanted to be able to use technology, which should be a given in this modern world. And most of all, I wanted to work with managers who would listen and respect their workers’ complaints and pay attention when a mass exodus of employees occurs.

Wadi Arbiyyin

roses at Jebel Akhdar

me with roses

ruins of Adam
I’m NOT one of those people who is unrealistically optimistic, seeing the world always as a rosy, fragrant and heady place. I am realistic. I see things as they are, and sometimes I don’t like what I see. But often, I see a world full of beauty and kindness and adventure. I strive to see things that way; it’s just that I don’t always succeed. I can weigh both sides and put them on the scales so that they’re evenly balanced, the bad and the good. And I can take away an experience that changes me, even if it’s in an unexpected way.
Finally, after living abroad, I think I’ve come full circle. Now that fear I had that nothing would ever change has vanished in the haze. I know that I don’t have to feel stuck; I can change my life whenever I want. That old familiar life has some appeal to me now and I find myself yearning for those familiar routines, those familiar faces.
Now, I feel like one of my favorite characters, Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Standing in Oman with my eyes closed, clicking my heels together, saying: “There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.”
*June 28, 2013* – a nomad in the land of nizwa
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“ON RETURNING HOME” INVITATION: I invite you to write a post on your own blog about returning home from one particular destination or, alternately, from a long journey encompassing many stops. How do you linger over your wanderings and create something from them? How have you changed? Did the place live up to its hype, or was it disappointing? Feel free to address any aspect of your journey and how it influences you upon your return. If you don’t have a blog, I invite you to write in the comments.
For some ideas on this, you can check out the original post about this subject: on returning home.
Include the link in the comments below by Wednesday, August 29 at 1:00 p.m. EST. When I write my post in response to this challenge on Monday, September 3, I’ll include your links in that post.
If you link after August 29, I will not be able to include your link in my next post, so please feel free to add your link to that post as soon as it publishes (since I’m leaving for the Camino on August 31).
This will be an ongoing invitation on the first Monday of each month. Feel free to jump in at any time. 🙂
I hope you’ll join in our community. I look forward to reading your posts!
As I am very new to blogging, I’m not sure if the link you speak of in your invitation is the “follow conversation” tag above the comments box? I’ve clicked it anyway. I would love to write about a recent trip away, within my own country, but one that I reflect on deeply.
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Hi Jim, When you write your blog post about the recent trip away that you deeply reflect on, just link that post into the comments at the bottom of the post, just where you wrote this comment. Then I’ll get a pingback and I’ll link it to my next post about returning home on Monday, September 3. 🙂 I only do the “returning home” theme on the first Monday of each month.
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Thank you. I’m enjoying this process. Great to write to a focus
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Great! I look forward to reading what you write and share. 🙂
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Possibly your best piece of writing yet, Cathy! I love this. Your photos are so beautiful and you make the place look magical, yet you are so aware of the gloss and what lies beneath. You’ve learnt so much about yourself and aren’t afraid to look hard. Wonderful! 🙂 🙂 Sending hugs!
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Thanks, Jo, for your kind words. I wrote this originally when I left Oman, but I edited it to bring it up to date and changed a number of things. Those are some of my favorite photos from Oman, but I have too many to do it justice in one blog post. I’ll have to revisit Oman in future posts, especially photography posts, since I saw so much beauty there. I have learned a lot about myself and my place in the world; it’s been such an illuminating experience, living and working abroad. Hugs back to you! xx
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I admire your drive and determination to get out and plunge head first into adventure Cathy. I really enjoyed the Marigold movie, thank you for reprinting Evelyn’s moral on failure and success. So many great one liners through the movie (note to self must watch it again) what interesting times you have had and your ability to share them with us makes captivating reading. Your openness in not glossing over the hard times but balancing them with the good and your photos take me with you. Thank you. I look forward to hearing your next adventure, but will have to be patient as blogging along the Camino would possibly be so difficult and all your time will be taken with just being there and experiencing it.
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Thank you so much, Pauline. I had to keep replaying the movie so I could write down Evelyn’s last lines! I loved the Evelyn character. I’ve watched that movie so many times, as having been to India, I feel like it’s such a realistic depiction of the country, plus I love the characters battling their own demons in a faraway land. I always try to see the good in everything, but I’m also realistic too, and I had to be honest about the parts that were a challenge for me as well.
As you know, I won’t be blogging while I’m on the Camino as I want to immerse myself in the experience, but I’m sure I’ll have plenty to write about when I return. Thanks so much for all your encouragement. 🙂
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I also have been to India, what an experience. So I could emphasise with the characters too. I think immersing yourself in the Camino is the way to get the most from it.
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Thank you, Cathy, now I know that going to Morocco next year is the right choice, they also speak French! But let me add that insch’allah is a common attitude in many Arab countries which is sometimes hard to understand for people from the socalled occident. It has also driven me crazy more than once although I am quite patient. When you demand for example somebody to pay an outstanding bill being overdue for months and then get the answer “Insch’allah tomorrow or next week!” you know exactly that waiting will continue for at least a further month or longer. It is often a mere lazyness which uses spiritual matters as an excuse. Wishing you better weather for the Camino @ Ulli
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I really want to go to Morocco too, as soon as possible, Ulli. I’d like to propose to my husband that I visit Morocco alone and then meet him in Italy. We’ll see if that is possible. Yes, Insha’allah is so often used in the Arab world that it becomes quite funny actually. Thanks for your good wishes!
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My plan is to visit the “Timitar Music Festival” at Agadir in early July 2019, featuring berber music for the world – real desert music! Unfortunately this is the hot season but people also have holidays. But Agadir is lying at the Atlantic Ocean, so some cool winds may be expected.
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Wow, that music festival sounds wonderful. I would love to hear Berber music. I was able to hear some in Oman, and I loved it. 🙂
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Simply fantastic! 🙂
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Thank you, Pit. 🙂
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You’re welcome, Cathy!
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So many thought-provoking ideas and such beautiful photos of Oman. I’ve never really felt at home anywhere, and perhaps that’s why long-term travel appeals to me. The closest I’ve gotten to that Dorothy feeling was in Marin, California. Home for me is something I carry wherever I journey. https://tinyurl.com/y87s844g.
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I love this idea of home being something you carry wherever you journey, Atreyee. I also read your comment where you said you often think of your blog as home. All very interesting thoughts. Thank you for sharing this wonderful post of musings on the meaning of home.
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Very well expressed, Cathy. I found after my recent stateside trip I was yearning to be home to immerse myself in home projects before the rains set in! The time away gave me energy.
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Thank you ever so kindly, Vivian. It always feels good to return to the place you call home, the place where you have special mementos you’ve collected in your life, creature comforts, and family or pets. A place where you can explore creative pursuits and read and write and fully relax. I agree that time away energizes you and gives you a fresh perspective on life. 🙂
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I enjoyed your time in Oman more than any of the places you’ve been, because I find Islamic culture fascinating, so this is a great read well written, Thank you for posting it.
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Thank you, Gilly. Me too; it was my favorite place. I just wish I hadn’t hated my job there so much. I have many wonderful memories of the time I spent with my best friend Mario there, and I loved exploring every corner of the country. Thanks again for your kind words. 🙂
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As others have mentioned already to you, this is a beautifully written post Cathy, and with some of the most
marvellousspectacular photos, (in which you look so well and happy btw). It seems to me that since Japan you have been more content at home in the US. Though of course you are never in one place for long, endlessly planning ‘where next’, but I sense some sort of contentment in you which wasn’t there when you returned from your other overseas jobs. I read pretty much all your Oman blog and it was fascinating. Such a different way of life, but what interesting landscapes and culture you got to see. And your photos, well, simply stunning. You must definitely share more from that region when you can. Must be several themes among them I imagine. Oh, and a final point – I just love those pots in your header!!LikeLike
Thank you ever so kindly, Jude. As you probably know, I wrote this soon upon leaving Oman in 2013 and just updated it for this blog. I was always very content in Oman, and I’m fairly content at home as well, although I will always have wanderlust. If my adult children would sort themselves out, I’d be a lot more content, and I can be fairly so as long as I can remain detached from them, which isn’t always easy to do. I did love my time in Oman more than any other places I lived, mainly because I had my dear friend Mario there, and because the country was easy to navigate (and so beautiful). It was pretty stress-free except for my job. I definitely will revisit some of my photos in this new blog, as many people didn’t follow me in Oman, and it would be nice to share them again. As for the pots, I loved them too, but sadly, I had so much to ship home that I never got any for myself!
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It is always nice to have someone who enjoys the same things as you do to travel with. A shame that teaching always seems to bring with it a lot of stress! Ten years since I quit the classroom (apart from a brief spell to assist a mate) and I have not regretted it even though I was on quite a decent salary at the time.
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It was so wonderful to have Mario as my partner in crime there in Oman, Jude. We always had a blast and shared the same sense of humor and love of wine! I have never laughed so much as I did when in his company.
That teaching job in particular was very stressful, mainly because of the power hungry people there! Mostly Westerners who wanted to control what everyone else did. It was a nightmare teaching there, especially the second year when certain people were put in charge. You’re so right, Jude, teaching is so stressful under any conditions. Now that I think about it, every teaching job has been stressful except my first speaking and listening class at Northern Virginia Community College. Other than that class, I can’t recall a single teaching experience I enjoyed! Marking all those papers in China was awful, and the discipline problems in Japan were a pain. And in Korea, I taught little children, which as cute as they can be, are like wild animals!
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Watching “Marigold Hotel” made me want to visit India! And your reminiscences of Oman brought back our own journey there, which we enjoyed so much. You’ve had some amazing adventures over the years Cathy, with another about to start soon. How exciting to share it with you via your blog.
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I know what you mean about that movie, Carol. I thought it depicted India very realistically, although a bit romanticized. I’m glad I could take you back to your happy visit to Oman. It is fun to share my adventures through my blog. It keeps me occupied in the homebody-times! The Camino won’t be as long as my working stints abroad, but it will definitely be more physically grueling, so I’m a bit worried about whether I can make it. But also excited. Flexibility will be key! 🙂
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Fantastic Photos!
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Thank you, Mari. 🙂
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Such an interesting piece of writings Cathy, and beautiful photos. I didn’t know you as far back as Oman so it’s good to get some background info about what set of your desire to work abroad and what you got out of it (a good deal of personal growth / acceptance) it seems.
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Thanks so much, Anabel. Yes, Oman was the best experience I had abroad, although you can see it still had its share of challenges, especially where my job was concerned. It was a beautiful place to explore, and pretty easy to negotiate, being a small country with not much population. I do miss it, and I often miss my friend Mario, who made me laugh more than anyone I’ve ever known!
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Welcome back Cathy clearly using my phone on WP isn’t attaching my comments but I see your images and read your narrative….I enjoy learning from your experiences….sending you joy and all good things 💫☺️✌️ smiles Hedy
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Ps. You look beautiful and happy too 🤓👍
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Aw, thank you, that’s sweet. The pics are 5 years old, so I’m older now! 🙂
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you’re beautiful…you shine and smile Cathy ☺️🤓❤️
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Thanks for the welcome back, Hedy. I actually wrote this in 2013, so I’ve been back for some time. On this blog (a new one for me), I’m trying to consolidate slowly many of my travel-related writings from my many other blogs. Thanks so much for your kind words. Joy and happiness to you too! 🙂
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😳 I must have gotten lost and wandered through more of your posts…and who knows what time is anyways 😉 have a joyful day Cathy ~ smiles hedy 😊
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Cathy, this post is just wonderful. The photographs and the narrative had me transfixed the entire time I spent with it. Best wishes for your next adventure.
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Thank you so much, Linda. I’m glad you enjoyed both the narrative and the photos. Oman was a very special experience for me, so it’s enjoyable for me to revisit my time there. I’ll be off to walk the Camino at the end of August through late October. Thanks for your good wishes. 🙂
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[…] https://wanderessence.com/2018/08/06/on-returning-home-from-the-four-corners-2/ […]
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I have posted a piece reflecting on “home” which is a slightly different approach. https://wordpress.com/post/elder-words.com/76. Thank you for inspiring my thoughts.
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Thank you so much, Jim, for writing and sharing this evocative piece. Your family really had a hold on the communities in which they lived; I love how their physical presence is still there for you to see whenever you return. Thank you for sharing this. 🙂
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Beautifully written and illustrated with compelling images….I was carried along by your narrative, happily so. Your smiling face in the photos matched your excitement about Oman, and your seeing through to the less desirable side of life there didn’t take anything away, it just makes it a more realistic picture. Learning about how you went back to school, what you wrote about, etc., all adds to the story and makes me more interested. I guess part of it is about finding a rhythm: travel, home, travel, home…
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Thanks so much, Lynn, and thanks for dropping by my blog in such a big way today, and for your comments. 🙂 Oman was probably my most wonderful and challenging stint abroad; it has had a huge influence on my life and on how I see the world today. I was so thankful for that experience. 🙂
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[…] prompt: https://wanderessence.com/2018/08/06/on-returning-home-from-the-four-corners-2/ […]
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I enjoyed reading of your travels in distant lands and how they affected you. In my response I have written only of a road trip that took several hours so I hope it fits with your prompt – https://beinginnatureblog.wordpress.com/2018/08/20/lost-in-transit/
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Thanks so much for linking this beautifully written piece to my prompt, Suzanne. It’s so thought-provoking, as your posts always are. I have already linked it both to returning home and to my next journey post, but can remove one if you think it fits more with one than the other. Thanks for sharing this. 🙂
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Thanks Cathy. I was in an odd mood when I wrote it If you feel it fits with your prompts please link it. Otherwise let it slip back into the ethers it came from 🙂
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I like it so much and think it fits well with the journey, so I’ll link it there. Thanks, Suzanne. 🙂
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Thanks Cathy. That does seem like a good prompt to link it to
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Hi Cathy, this post will be reblogged tomorrow by me as it is a good and nice contrast to my writings about Egypt to follow in my blog in the next time. Wishing you further good Camino-trip preparations and real cool greetings from the Alps of Eastern-Tyrole @ Ulli
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Thanks so much, Ulli, for reblogging this. And thank you for your good wishes from the cool Alps! I hope you’re enjoying your holiday and staying refreshed. 🙂
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[…] https://wanderessence.com/2018/08/06/on-returning-home-from-the-four-corners-2/ […]
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Hi Cathy, thanks for sharing your thoughts on living abroad and living in the Middle East. I have relocated to Dubai a year ago and find myself wrestling with similar feelings, torn between the fascination for a different culture, the annoyance at some aspects of it and the gradual broadening my European-centred view into a more global perspective. Warm greetings, Peggy
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Hi Peggy. Thanks so much for dropping by and commenting. I lived in Oman for two years, from 2011-2013, and I felt awestruck and annoyed, off and on, the whole time. It did open up my eyes to a different culture than my American one, though. For that I’m grateful, especially as I watch my fellow Americans with their close-minded views become increasingly intolerant and hateful. I hope you enjoy your time in Dubai. Are you working there? If you can visit Oman while you’re there, I highly recommend it, especially Jebel Akhdar! 🙂
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I followed my husband. As a freelance copywriter I can thankfully work nearly anywhere. But I find working in a place is quite important to really arrive there, so I have started to work additionally as German teacher.
Oman is definitely on our list, especially as it is so nearby. I‘ll keep Jebel Akhdar in mind. Thanks for the tip. 😊
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Nice that you have a job you can do anywhere. That’s nice that you’re also working as a German teacher so you can mingle with the locals as well. I hope I don’t miss when you make your trip to Oman. 🙂
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